parents strongly cautioned

this post is naughty.  because, today, was a mostly naughty day.  you have been warned.  

i woke up with a familiar reluctance, but somehow felt myself moving even more slowly than usual.  and, you know that saying, "you don't know what you don't know"?  i would like to take this moment to disagree.  i think sometimes you might know EXACTLY what you don't know.  

let's run through the day and see the many areas where it may have gone wrong, and then, wronger. :

9:30 a morning meeting at home that kept slipping my mind and that i forgot to clean up for.  never failing to come up with a bizarre non-solution, 

i decided to whip up some lemon mini bundt cakes instead of either showering or cleaning.  during the meeting, i gazed around and noted the smudgy dining room table, the ground goldfish crackers underfoot, and the mostly dead (but-once-glorious!!) roses in the

 center of all the action.  i struggled through several emotions and settled on bemused.  it's one of my favorites.

10:20 the meeting ends early and just after the lemon bundts have come out of the oven.  i consider the possibility of eating all of the mini bundts myself in a sort of day-long bundt-buffet, but decide against it and order some of my meeting-mates to stay behind while i ice them.  i force everyone under my roof to eat at least one.

12-ish ragain swings by to pick me up for lunch with his parents and brother, robert, and informs me that isaac's teacher has just called to say that isaac is having a terrible day.  a day that has already included some kind of tantrum, throwing of various objects and calling his poor aide "a jerk".  lunch immediately feels sort of regrettable as i mentally compose

 an apology note to poor mrs. h.  

2:00 get back home and learn from my mom that lucas had attempted to wash his hair in the toilet while i was gone.  while disgusting, i decide we can live with it.  we've definitely seen worse.  

3-ish go to pick the twins up from school. 

 although, arriving more than 10 minutes before the bell, i cannot find a parking spot except for across the street.  i steel myself for the potential of further bad news regarding isaac's misdeeds.  and wonder if i should have brought flowers for mrs. h.  the boys are relinquished to me without too much bad news and i am anxious to get them home.  as soon as we pull out into the long line of cars, isaac yells at jacob, jacob throws a punch and isaac hits him over the head with a book.  the afternoon agenda will now include dual time-outs.  i tell isaac that i'm very disappointed about what he said to mrs. h. and that i'm sure that it hurt her feelings.  he cries and tells me, "that breaks my heart".  it breaks my heart a little bit, too.

i get everyone inside and although tempted to "forget" about the time-outs, i carry them out in spite of massive protest.  tutors arrive, homework takes over an hour as many of us are feeling emotional and have an apology letter to write in addition to a loathsome math worksheet.  our "new foods" program is stalling on the homemade pizza.  isaac and jacob d

on't want to eat anything but the crust.  it takes 30 minutes before isaac will take one bite to earn his bowl of ice cream.  jacob puts a bite in his mout

h but pulls it out and says "that's disgusting!"  no hard feelings.  it only took me 2+ hours to make it.  

5:30 the tutors leave just as i put isaac in his 3rd time-out, this time for throwing a toy at me when i won't give jacob a bowl of ice cream.  i debate about whether or not to take everyone on a long drive until bedtime, but refuse to acknowledge my own defeat.  i give everyone special milk, throw them each in the bath, and ignore the massive amount of water that is sloshed all over the bathroom floor.  

7:30 baths over.  melatonin administered.  i try to get into the spirit as i read a book about monster trucks and then a chapter of a lemony snicket book.  all 3 boys fall asleep and i saunter out to the living room.  i am about to congratulate myself, when i remember, again, the assignment that had come home in jacob's backpack...

in his defense, it is a word.  and is correctly spelled.  i feel sort of embarrassed, but i'm going to settle on bemused.