my mom brings this rug over for her dog, shiloh, when
she comes to babysit. lucas always hurries to find
nemo to tuck him in, you know, in the "anemone".
the twins are both sick. they've been sick since sunday.
feverish. congested. cranky.
the weather commiserates.
gloomy. gray. rainy.
but the week cranks on. tutoring meeting for lucas, planning team meeting with tutoring company and regional center, and last night, a meeting for a new autism "project".
i like new projects. i like the renewal of hope and purpose. and i like the energy and the shift of perspective.
in one of my favorite documentaries about autism , a particular dad says something about the realization that your child has autism and that's it. forever. my heart always sinks when he says that part. not because it resonates with me as true.
but, because it doesn't.
even though, i understand the heartache that made him say it.
can i tell you something? for me. when it started to get lighter. when i got my bearings. when i could see straight. when i could breathe without the word autism catching in my throat. i saw the tiny platform, high above the ground, that my little family huddled on for what it was.
a jumping off point.
not the summary. or the resting place. it was the start of our trajectory. and in the distance. maybe beyond where anyone can see, is where we'll end up. maybe it will have only been a few feet. maybe a few thousand. but that tiny, precarious platform was not "it". and it is not "forever".
and i am grateful to know that.
at this moment, i feel movement in the autism community. there is a stronger commitment to awareness and an urgency to forward positive changes. and there are moments when i get to be a part of that. and i am lucky to have those moments. i am even luckier, to get to think about them, from a warm spot at home. tucked in with my sweet little boys, and an upturned icee on the carpet.
***in response to the autism-related events and reading that i've been doing. also, with an eye on the approach of april, as autism awareness month.
Sweet, sweet post. Thanks! I am SO looking forward to hearing you speak about this...
ReplyDeletethank you, stacey. i appreciate the opportunity to talk about a subject so near to my heart. i hope i can do it justice.
ReplyDeletea few million miles steph, more than anyone could ever hope to know.
ReplyDeletethank you, k. i'm glad we're on this journey together.
ReplyDeleteYou know Stef... It's not until you are a parent that you TRULY understand what soemone feels when they tell you they would do ANYTHING for their children. What you do for your boys and for the world amazes me. I hope you are proud of your accomplishments and achievements. I pray I can be HALF the mom to my children that you are to your beautiful boys! XOXO
ReplyDeletethank you, mandy!! i so appreciate that! and, i think you're a pretty amazing person, yourself! can't wait to see you again, and to meet baby #2 later this year...
ReplyDeleteConsidering all the events in your life so far, it's incredible that your journey has just gained momentum.... I told this to Tia once, and I mean it for you, too........
ReplyDeleteStrength is beautiful - you are so needed to do your work - and you are so strong. I'm one very lucky mom. love.