dear future steph,
greetings from the past! you might be reading this on some sort of screen, or having swallowed a large, gel-filled pill, this message might be projected just behind your eyes. and in that case, wow.
whether reading or ingesting this message, here is some potentially useful information:
- never buy herb-flavored popcorn. it is wretched and not unlike chewy gobs of bad breath.
- sparkly band-aids ARE cute. but they're not for you. they also abandon ship at the first sign of water.
-you shouldn't rate someone's likeability solely on whether they refer to you as "miss" or "ma'am". in other words, ix-nay on the death glare and coquettish giggling. it's not charming.
- you like b.l.t.'s a lot. maybe too much. they fill you with hope and satisfaction. don't get all fancy with them, though. think classic. and go make one.
with deep affection and
zero knowledge of your future follies,
past steph
p.s. if you still own those grey striped pajama bottoms with the hanging-by-a-thread (literally) drawstring... give them my love.
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note to future steph from current k: tell more people to suck it when they deserve it rather than just thinking it, put self first a bit more often than never and be sure to find future k, she's probably lost without you.
ReplyDeletelove it, k. thank you.
ReplyDeletep.s. i never plan to lose track of you. and if that doesn't sound like stalker-speak, i don't know what does.