i am arwog

or, at least, i am when my fingers miss the home keys. for better or for worse, arwog is not capable of signing into the various sites where my name is required. consequently, web-related rejections abound.

i've made this typographical error multiple times this week... because i still don't feel all that great and i am super-spacey.

was i supposed to call you?

were we supposed to meet for lunch?

do i still have packets of information to fill out that i promised you over a week ago?

i do apologize.

a couple things have snapped me out of my brain-fog today. they are:

1) the realization that i had skipped a key piece of clothing while getting dressed. fear not. the sudden, and keen knowledge that something was amiss, alerted me before i made a grand debut anywhere.

2) singing along to c & c music factory (everybody dance now) in the car, and noting that i still remembered all the words to the unfortunate rap (?) sequence. you're judging me, aren't you?

3) isaac and jacob each kissing lucas hello when we picked them up from school. lucas giggled after each kiss, and i felt lucky.

4) during our after-school car ride, we came across a man in the bike lane. you couldn't miss him. he was wearing a fluorescent green shirt. and a camo hat. and riding an child's ancient scooter. the scooter appeared to be backward, like with 2 wheels in front and one in back. but he was holding onto a set of handles, so maybe i've gotten something skewed here. in any case, he was riding that thing like a maniac. i passed him. then, he came up next to us at a stoplight. it made me wonder...

is he riding it for fun?

did his car break down?

is it some kind of work-out?

should i check to make sure my doors are locked?

when the light turned green, we left him behind. but i could see him in my rearview mirror. he looked determined. and exuberant. and, you know, i kind of admired him.

i am now coherent enough to use my stove and make dinner, so i'm going to get to it.

arwog, over and out.


i love these birds. i don't know why. but i finally photographed them, so that i won't ever forget about them. yeah, i like them that much.

the weekend, and all its spoils

this past weekend was pretty good. and kinda packed. but, mostly in a good way. some of the highlights were:

celebrating mother's day (late) with my own mom, by heading out to the folsom outlets. mom found the (somewhat elusive) white jeans, in tall. she also found a purple top to wear to the baby shower that we were attending the following day. i came across a bad attitude while in the dressing room of the gap outlet and wore that around until i found the (ever elusive) haribo rainbow frogs in the random gourmet chef store. for me, the gourmet chef store ended up being the best shop of the day, even though i only purchased the frogs and a new scrub brush. typing it makes it sound strangely more pathetic. will the outing be redeemed if i mention that we ended it with nachos at dos coyotes? i thought so. (i also revisited the outlets, later, with ragain and all three boys. that trip involved slightly more adventure...)

next, the baby shower, for a very sweet baby awaited by some very sweet parents. i was lucky enough to get to go with both my mom, and sister, tia. i am now caught up on all the latest baby gadgetry and mom and tia helped me finish off the rainbow frogs.

trip to davis farm market. asparagus, onions, potatoes, avocados, lemons, and broccoli. all delicious, although dangerous should they escape the bags and roll under your feet while driving. i will knot the bag handles on all future trips. lesson learned.

ikea trip with k. bought some good cheer for 99 cents. if you can come across cheer for 99 cents, you need to buy it. no questions asked.

trip to burr's ice cream in east sac. i'd never been there before!!! mom, you might have let me down on this one. i blatantly defied my lactose intolerance and ate a toasted almond cone. it would have been worth the consequences if it had come down to that. wanna meet me there next friday night?

low points of the weekend...should i have written these first?

we watched "the lovely bones". can't recommend it. no offense intended to those who might have loved it. i spent several minutes with my head under a blanket and my hands over my ears, which might be why i had trouble embracing it. afterward, i had to watch an old 30 rock episode to cleanse my visual palate before going to bed. it kinda worked.

taking the twins to the bathroom at the folsom outlets. i suspect most parents bemoan taking their kids to the bathroom in public restrooms. it is time-consuming, at best. combining two kids who have sensory issues with bathrooms that have automatic everythings could be the first two ingredients in the recipe for insanity, anarchy or a very explicit documentary. please allow me to set the scene:

the boys are very tall and appear to be more like 9 years old, rather than 7.

i am hustling them into the ladies restroom, ignoring the stares of a woman and her 5 daughters. (by the way, i'm only good at ignoring the staring about 80% of the time.)

i herd the boys straight toward the handicap stall because i can keep an eye on everyone at once in there. bad news. it's not working.

i decide to try letting everyone go into their own individual stall. (we all fall victim to optimism sometimes, don't we? that optimism is a smooth talker.)

things appear to be going well. i can see both sets of feet. there are appropriate sound effects. and then the flushing starts. oh, sweet cherries! it's the automatic flushing kind.

i immediately step up the pace. i can hear each of the boys starting to exclaim over all the flushing. i can imagine them paralyzed in the stalls with their hands covering their ears as each of the toilets take turns flushing over and over again.

luckily, jacob is finished, and bolts out just as i do. isaac, however, was not quite finished. i peer through the cracks in the door and encourage him to hurry. hands clasped over his ears, he tells me he's not done.

i turn my attention to getting jacob's hands washed. i am suddenly reminded of the existence of the mom with 5 daughters. she and her clan are all finished and washing their collective hands at the end of the row of sinks. they're chattering and laughing over all the flushing.

and then, it begins.

the automatic dryers. all 3 of them. being used by all the kids.

jacob tries to cover his ears with his forearms while still washing his hands. he's shrieking over and over. we haven't even got to soap yet. i have to reach jacob's entire body across the counter to put his hands under the dispenser.

isaac is still in the stall behind us. making no progress due to the simultaneous flushing, laughing, and drying. i can hear him trying to say something, but i can't hear him over the noise, either.

the other mom leaves. but her girls stay behind. continuing to dry their hands. they seem to be fascinated by jacob's reaction. their hands have to be dry by now, but they're still running the dryers.

there are no paper towels. i let jacob wipe his on my hoodie.

i begin to plead with isaac through the door. he's so desperate to get out, he throws the door open with his pants still around his ankles. jacob is running in place, still shrieking and covering his ears. i'm trying to rush isaac through pulling up, buttoning and zipping.

the little girls are still watching. and still drying. i wash isaac's hands for him.

i take a shoulder of each boy, so they can continue to cover their ears. i half-push-half-guide them past the staring girls and horrendous dryers, and out the door.

we make it to the open air. the other mom is standing out there. impatient. waiting for her girls. unfortunately, i want to scream in her ears and ask her if she can think straight with that level of noise.

but my boys have forgotten about the whole thing... so, i have to, too.

final low point... i had a fever last night.

final high point... family donut run. watching lucas run with the MOST GLEEFUL look on his face in a circle in the donut shop. and hearing him say "dew-nut" before wiping the chocolate icing off on his bangs.

i hope your weekend had more high points than low. and i hope you had a donut.

we heart big spoon

and, luckily, big spoon hearts us, back.


isaac, referencing his own, "big spoon".


jacob, with his oma. thanks for helping out, oma!



lucas loves vanilla. the wide eyes prove it.

we've been fortunate enough that big spoon has hosted two fundraising and awareness events for our walk (definition below).

"the walk" refers to the sacramento walk now for autism speaks, formerly just sacramento walk now for autism. this walk is part of a national walk program. it raises money for autism research. it is a fun, family event complete with costumed characters, kid activities, entertainment, and most importantly, a resource fair featuring providers of autism-related services. i was there when this walk was born. and i feel all the affection that one can feel for something that is, while not a real-human-baby-or-anything, a thing that requires a great deal time and attention. it is, also, a thing that can frustrate, exhilarate, make you laugh, make you cry, hurt, and fill your heart all in one minute, in the same way a small child can. the walk is in its third year, and it looks a lot different than it did two years ago. there have been some growing pains. year two was as hard as most bouts of "terrible twos" and has been followed up by the suspiciously more challenging, year three. at its heart, though, is a group of people... parents, grandparents, aunties, uncles, friends, teachers, and tutors, who are touched by autism. very simply, it is obvious why i am involved in this. all three of my sweet, sweet boys are on the autism spectrum. there is no known cause or cure. resources and treatments are disappearing or slipping further and further out of reach every day. i am fortunate. while i might struggle, i have a dedicated and loving family. i have an exquisite group of friends. and i have the example of the parents and caregivers who i volunteer alongside. also, did i mention that my boys are precious and do not fail to make me smile? this is a longer description than i had intended. the bullet points are: sacramento walk now for autism speaks is awesome (you'll come, won't you? raley field, 10-10-10), walk planning can be tricky but is redeemed by the amazing feeling of volunteering and the friendship of some of the compassionate people in the world.


the 2009 walk chairs at the close of last year's walk. we were officially delirious at this point.



the starting point of the 2009 walk at raley field. i accidentally called the start of this walk without geoffrey the giraffe in his contractual position. remind me to tell you about it sometime.


back to big spoon. on april 29th, all the local big spoon stores (10 total) gave our walk 30% of the proceeds from all sales made with our fundraiser card. frozen yogurt that gives back to our walk is a no-brainer at our house.

isaac and jacob mostly love the topping portion of the store, but haven't quite figured out what tastes really go together... on the other hand, maybe you can't really go wrong? i'm going to say, though, that jacob might have been disappointed with his choice of lemon yogurt and chocolatey candies. after the first bite, the subsequent bites seemed far less enthusiastic. he might come by it honestly, i remember always getting jelly bellies on my chocolate frozen yogurt (at penguin's. tell me you remember it!!!!) and somehow there would always be that spearmint or cinnamon bean that would make me really question my decision making skills.

lucas got plain vanilla and seemed to enjoy it. my enjoyment was slightly hampered by another instance of poor decision making where i thought it would be JUST FINE to allow lucas to bring in the animal book that he'd swiped from isaac's classroom earlier in the day. nothing happened to it. but the fear that something might, was a little oppressive and may have furthered the progress of my crow's feet. why crow's feet, why??

our cups full of yogurty-delight were only matched by the little band of friends who came to the roseville location. we got to tickle a sweet baby's feet, make silly faces for the camera, and befriend (terrify) a tiny dog. oh, and our walk total swelled a bit. a very good evening.

want to check out our baby? i mean, walk? maybe register for it or become a fan of it on facebook? please do.


sacramento walk now for autism speaks

(baby) lucas strikes back

lucas, in a moment of zen, amidst his animal collection. he seems harmless, right?


to be perfectly clear, lucas cannot actually still be referred to as "baby". however, jacob and isaac will not accept the inevitability of lucas being a peer in little-boyhood. the strength of their denial, may have been the root of isaac's, um, downfall.

a couple of weeks ago, lucas inherited a new game for the communal leapster handheld game device that we have. he enjoyed an hour or so of uninterrupted gaming while the twins were at school. such peace is not meant to last.

i think brothers might have a general spirit of "what's mine is yours, what's yours is mine" with a real emphasis on the "what's yours is mine" part. as soon as isaac and jacob spotted the new game cartridge, entitlement reared its ugly head. in the challenging hours between tutoring and bedtime, i endeavored to mandate a cycle of turn-taking. during a lucas-turn, isaac hovered unendurably until lucas fled down the hall with the leapster. isaac followed. i heard a brief struggle, and then, isaac coming down the hallway, leapster in hand.

i was about to intervene. to force big brother to relinquish the stolen leapster. but lucas took matters into his own dimpled hands.

the next thing i heard, was a larger scuffle and a startled scream from isaac. a startled scream followed by a dramatic, horror- movie scream. lucas emerged from the hall, unscathed, and carrying the leapster, already engrossed in the lit screen.

isaac lay full-length in the hallway on his stomach (where he'd evidently gone down like a sack of potatoes) and writhed while screaming things like,

"i've been bitten by a baby!!!!"

"ow! my back!"

"why?!?! why?!?!"

"i...didn't...know...he...could...bite...like...that!!!!"

these exclamations (and writhing) continued for 5-10 minutes.

i might have come to isaac's aid, but it felt rude to tend him while laughing. i tried my best to smother my giggles on the other side of the dining room. it took several minutes to regain complete composure.

meanwhile, lucas continued to be riveted by diego's (very animated!) animal rescue. and jacob, was neutral about the whole affair.

i did eventually help isaac. i'm not completely heartless, after all. i cleaned the bite. it had broken the skin a little. and gave isaac his choice of band-aid. i let him know that while it was wrong for lucas to bite, it was also wrong for him to snatch toys away...

honestly, i could see both sides of this particular battle. i have been the older sibling, and felt the temptation to wield my brute older-sibling force like the ultimate weapon that it is. and, i have watched as my sweet, little sister sunk her pearly whites into my forearm, with her eyes wild like an animal. who can blame the little siblings for utilizing some of the only tools in their arsenal? particularly a full set(!) of tools that can fell a big brother like a giant sequoia. all i know for sure, is that isaac learned a (painful) lesson. and lucas might have walked a little taller.

aftermath

for the rest of this particular evening, every time lucas came near isaac, isaac would shout, "shoo! shoo!"

the next morning, i told isaac to tell ragain what had happened to his back. isaac said,

"well, dad, my back really hurts."

ragain: "oh, yeah? what happened?"

isaac: "the baby bit me."

ragain: "what?"

isaac: (pointing at lucas) "THAT BABY BIT ME!!!!"


additionally, isaac recently snagged the leapster from lucas, again. lucas didn't mind because he wasn't really actively playing... but as isaac turned his back to walk away with it, he turned back suddenly and said,

"don't bite me."

if you've got a little brother or sister that sometimes got the best of you. time to send them a note or give them a call and let them know you admire their spunk. and, that they still kind of scare the crap out of you. (those wild eyes are no joke!!!)

hello, hello- day 1 of 5

i'm back (with a vengeance?). i missed my blog. i didn't think i would... but i did.

the past 12 days have been busy and eventful.


my mother's day cards from isaac (l) and jacob. that's poison ivy from lego batman on isaac's card.

mother's day weekend

k and i set out on our adventure. not having to be back by any particular time induces a strange mixture of giddiness and guilt. we laughed, listened to music and ate an obscene amount of pita chips. or, i did. we also stopped at gap so that i could buy the same bag that k had just bought on clearance. my intention was to get one in a different color, but they only had the exact same one left. k said she didn't mind, so i picked it up even though the salesperson said that it made us "twinners". maybe it's that i have twins, and i like them. but i object to the non-word "twinners". let's make a pact to never use it unless we want to get smacked in the mouth.

we made it to stinson beach. we ate lunch at a cafe where i ordered a blt. this might seem strange, because i actually sort of avoid bacon, as a general rule. in fact, come to think of it, i'll order a bacon cheeseburger and then remove the bacon. what does that mean? i embrace wastefulness? i want to have my bacon and discard it, too? maybe. this time, though, i ate all the bacon. and it was delicious. after lunch, we sat in the sun and still managed to freeze. i was engrossed in a book that i'd brought, but would occasionally pause to notice that i was shivering. i looked over at k, who appeared to be wearing every layer that she'd brought with her. i made another mental note that i should strive to be as prepared as she is.

when we were thoroughly windburned, we tromped off the beach. i can't make walking in sand look good. i trip and stumble and sink into various spots. i laugh at myself and the wind sweeps sand into my teeth. my hair stands up all around my face, and curls away from it as if it doesn't want to be associated with me. i can't even pretend to be offended.

we zipped over to corte madera shopping center where i had spied the container store, earlier. we wandered the aisles and i imagined being organized and what that might feel like. i fingered wall hooks, spice jars, glass canisters and pill sorters. i contemplated my strategy if i were suddenly on that old game show that gave you a shopping cart and a time limit to fill it. i would have aced that game show.

we browsed some other shops and headed into san francisco for dinner. we ate ricotta gnocchi at a cute italian place called pelligrini. it must be said that ricotta anything is good. anything.

back at the hotel, we did our nails and rented a movie which i slept through. k says i didn't miss anything. before returning home from our getaway we: wandered around san francisco again, toured the william-sonoma flagship store (so good!!!! it almost brought tears to my eyes...), pondered the place of denim cutoffs in the universe, and ate an (accidentally) leisurely lunch at a restaurant called plant. our server was vacant-eyed and decidedly organic. we also stopped at the vacaville outlets where both converse and j. crew let us down. ikea finished our trip off on a good note. thanks for everything, k. i had a great time.

back at home, i was surprised by handmade cards, flowers, books made by isaac and jacob, some gifts and a very good dinner. officially, best mother's day weekend, ever. i hope everyone else had a wonderful mother's day, too!



excerpt from jacob's book. it says, "if mom could do anything she would because she likes to read." the book featured in the drawing appears to be titled, "mense". i guess he might have meant either 'mens' or 'menses'. i feel like i'm sort of covered on both those topics...but maybe not.




excerpt from isaac's book. it says, " if my mom could do anything she would eat a lopster because she was hundery. she would probably do this at red lodster." incidentally, i don't eat lobster, but if i did, it would be twice as large as i am and be served with a head-sized pat of butter.

oi

first, happy cinco de mayo. i had my car stolen once on cinco de mayo, so i can't claim that it's traditionally a lucky day for me... but, maybe, today my luck will have changed.

in other news, i haven't blogged in over a week and will not be able to blog with any reliability until the 14th. i'm tempted to promise to blog for 5 straight days beginning on the 14th, but can't be sure that i'll be brimming with things to say.

possible topics for 5 straight days of blogging:

1) the mother's day weekend trip that i am taking with my pal, k. don't call us, we'll call you.

2) the vicious attack visited upon isaac by little brother, lucas. sadly, i could not intervene because i was laughing too hard in the dining room. don't worry, there was only a little blood.

3) big spoon fundraiser for our sacramento walk. we got more toppings than yogurt... it's supposed to work like that, right?

4) food. farmer's market. homemade minestrone. new food's program- introducing roast chicken to the twins. we got a total of 3 bites in the first day, with zero gagging. not too shabby. as a bonus, isaac said, "can i smell it?" and when i said yes, and asked him what he thought it smelled like, he said, "it smells like teenagers." i couldn't completely disagree.

5) autism stuff. it's no longer april, so i failed the first part, but i'm going to make good on the other part of my commitment. so, if you have any general (or even specific...yikes!) questions about autism, will you send them to me? maybe it will help me to focus on what i want to talk about...

ok. i'm running late to where i'm supposed to be going. this post is not fun. and it has no pictures. and that makes me feel sad. you know what will make me feel better. but it will only work if you actually do it... close your eyes. picture you and me. we're laughing. we're eating froot loops. by the handful. we throw them into each other's mouths and we laugh harder. i miss often. and hit you in the teeth. and the eye. you, however, have great aim. and i consume far too many froot loops.

now, i feel full and happy.