my kneeeeeeeeee!!!!!

i'm going to write this in two parts... because the reality is, that's what will work better. one part (now) before the boys are in bed, and the second part after they are deep into dreamland. let's see how it will work.

i want to recap the day, so that at some point, when i can't remember what a typical tuesday was like in 2010, i can look back. and grimace. until i remember how unflattering my grimace-face is, and change it to "lost in thought" look.

tuesdays are kinda tricky. we have weekly tutoring meetings for all 3 boys. a meeting for lucas in the morning. and for isaac and jacob, immediately after school. i'm not good at meetings. i feel fidgety and unprepared. i want to serve snacks, but usually haven't put in the required forethought. so, i spend part of the meetings thinking of what i would have made, were i only more organized. today, i put out the rest of the salt-water taffy (enter self-loathing). salt-water taffy could never be a suitable meeting snack. and, it was in a mixing bowl. i feel ashamed.

afternoon meeting adjourned. i internally debate what to make for dinner. i conclude that my fastest option is one of the only meals that all 3 boys will eat. grilled cheese. lucas mostly loves grilled cheese. except, on the odd day, that he completely rejects them. isaac and jacob do not like them, but have recently begun to eat them after a successful "new foods program" persuaded them, that if they will only choke them down, i will give them an awesome treat.

lucas and isaac eat their sandwiches with minimal prompting, and the spilling of one half-melted icee. i eat a piece of leftover tropical pizza, and the last 3 garlic rolls from my only-semi-triumphant attempt of perfecting them. (they still need some work. rosemary, maybe?) jacob eats pretty well for the first half, but is side-tracked by the erasure song that is stuck in his head. he hums the melody nearly a dozen times in a row as i remind him over and over again of the awesome treat that waits at the end of his empty plate. with 3-4 bites left, he gags on a gigantic piece and spits it out. i give him a napkin and tell him that he can throw that bite away, but that he has to finish the last 3. he stares at the remaining bits, and hatches a plan.

jacob: "can i have a wipe?"

me: "no." (i know where he's going with this. a fake-gag, spit into a wipe and a free pass to the trash...)

jacob: "can i have a frisbee?" (shakes his own head, and answers his own question) "no."

me: "what?" (the frisbee thing threw me a little.)

jacob: "can i have a napkin?"

me: "no."

it occurs to me that most parents would not deny their child a napkin. but, i think i might be something of a pioneer.

i hear an exuberant lucas in the bathroom. this is never a good sign. i peer in and find him dancing half-naked in the bathtub. underwear and pants on the floor. i tell him to put his underwear on if he wants "special milk". he hurries and pulls them on. backward. they ride up enough to make him high-step all around the room...but he remains unfazed.



i try to throw caution to the wind when removing the packets for the "special milk". in a weird flight of compulsivity, i often try to make 2 of one flavor and 1 of another. tonight, i grab 3 packets at random. they are ALL different flavors. i replace the box with a certain amount of determination, and a very worried expression. i press on. i congratulate myself on my progress into the rational world, until i realize that i didn't put the deepest flavored packet in the darkest colored cup. i force myself to go with it. i think the universe and i might be tied on this one.

isaac, who has removed his shirt after spilling something on it during dinner, is wandering around singing the words "my kneeeeeeee!!!" in an opera voice. he talks jacob into accompanying him, but gives him several instructions on how to do it right. "no, jacob. like this..." i ask isaac where the phrase came from, and he said it came from this book.



i flip through it and there is indeed an opera singer, with hands clasped and mouth wide, singing these words. who knew? this book is brilliant, by the way. and very enjoyable to read aloud.




i give baths.

as i help isaac to dry off, he hugs me and says, "i love you forever, mom."

i immediately become teary and hug him a little tighter. i tell him i love him forever, too.

he pulls back to look at my face, and says, "mom, what does 'forever' mean?"

i laugh a little as i try to explain it. and, then, realize, i'm really terrible at explaining things. next, i let lucas run naked for a suitable period of time. the boys jump on their beds, imitating a scene from "finding nemo". in between loads of laundry being shoved in and pulled out, i hear jacob start to cry. isaac looks at me nervously when i arrive on the scene and i ask him if he hurt jacob. he says yes. he poked him in the eye. he gets time-out. he apologizes and tells me he wants to write another "i'm sorry letter" to both jacob and i. this delays bedtime a bit, but remorse can't and shouldn't be rushed.

i am now alone with my thoughts, and a pile of laundry, and the contents of an entire lego sticker book stuck to my carpet, and a half-eaten almond joy. i think it's time to press 'publish'.