profile: isaac

it has become necessary to record some recent notes about isaac.  why?  

reason 1:  he seems to be undergoing some kind of personality-growth spurt.

reason 2:  he finally fell asleep tonight after shouting, "i hate this family!"  and it broke my heart a bit.  

passionate declarations of all types are isaac-trademarks.  sometimes, the context is clear.  other times, like earlier today when he said,

"i cannot push people in holes!  in deep holes!"

it is less so.

one thing is for certain.  he has strong feelings that intersect sharply with a flair for the dramatic.  

also certain, his appearance on "inside the actor's studio" will be riveting.  

although i enjoy most of isaac's performance moments, his leading-man roles are the funniest, and most endearing.  

scene 1:  isaac takes my hand while riding in the car, nuzzles his face against my arm and says,

"i love having a crush on you."

scene 2:  isaac taps a tutor on the shoulder, and says,

"this little kangaroo is looking at you, holly."

holly:  "what little kangaroo?"

isaac smirks and hops up and down.  (seriously no idea where/how he came up with that...)

when not trying out pick-up lines, isaac likes to tell jokes and ask a lot of questions.

today's questions were tricky ones, like:

"what am i smelling right now?"

and

"why is that baby crying very far away from here?"

many of isaac's jokes are the result of accidents, or like a couple of weeks ago, serious questions...

isaac:  is soap disgusting?

me:  what?!?!  no!  soap is good!  

isaac (unmoved):  well, it's disgusting when you eat it.

and, you know, that seemed inarguable.  

also inarguable, i love having a crush on that kid.

boys of summer

yesterday, auntie tia took us for our ride in her jeep, felix.  we couldn't fit lucas, so he stayed behind with oma.

the sun beat down.  the wind whipped our hair.  jacob asked to push the "close button" over and over again...

we got icees and drove back through loomis.

and i wanted summer to last forever.

the best medicine

i am not feeling well. there is some sort of swamp in my head...

just ask k, who i mistakenly texted instead of ragain last night. i thought i was asking ragain to pick up some "sweet treats" for me on his way home. but, really, i was speaking (cryptically and affectionately) to k. and because she is a dear friend, she left her warm house, late (late!!) at night and fetched a ginormous drink and snack from sonic for me. thanks, again, k!

a get-well-soon heart from isaac

isaac has done his part to perk me up, as well. while i was slouching on the couch last night, he colored and cut out a heart, then came and put it on my shoulder. he also delivered an "i'm sorry letter" for various misdeeds the night before...

it says: "dear mother, i'm sorry for oweing you in

apologey about being naughty!"

and, just this moment, ragain walked in with an armful of snacks, including a box of the always exquisite le petit ecolier cookies. and, i just wonder, how can i help but get well soon?

schmonday

i'll post later this week about how k and i were on the radio this morning. did you miss it? it was (kind of, but not really) awesome.

what i really want to note is that during bedtime prayers tonight, isaac asked for a blessing on dad and a blessing that "we will never have homework again".

can he get an amen?

day 1 of 2nd grade

the first day of school brought:

too few photos.

no tears... just near-tears-grimaces. (from me)

the moment when isaac raised his hand during the first 20 minutes of class and said, "3.14159265." (also known as pi) ordinarily, this could have been thrilling, but the question had been, "what don't we do with scissors?"

a very sweet, new instructional aide for jacob. i might be in love with her. just a little.

a failed attempt at the parent (support group? mixer? networking seminar?) coffee talk. we gave it a solid 5 minutes before realizing that we could talk (and grimace) more freely elsewhere.

over 100 degree temperatures.

a celebratory trip to cral's jr. (or carl's jr., if you don't speak jacob-ese) for a "good milkshake" after a successful first day.

the highlight:

a second when jacob's aide turned to me and said, "we're going to have a great school year." and my whole heart believed her.

good night, grimace.

back to school wishes

jacob and isaac, only hours away from being second graders...

in spite of my denial. and the most earnest desire of my heart, for summer to never end. school starts tomorrow.

gulp.

tears. tightening of stomach. balled fists.

it is almost too much.

to battle (at least half-heartedly) the inevitable sorrow and stress that tomorrow will bring, i have a few wishes to make.

please let me not communicate above stated sorrow and stress to my very sensitive boys.

please let me remember to brush my hair before i leave the house.

please help me to remember every minimum day, parent-teacher conference, fundraiser night, birthday invitation, dress-up day, school spirit day, etc., etc.

please help my boys to make some good friends, or even, one good friend this year.

please give me the courage to speak to the other parents even when i: look terrible, don't feel like it, am beginning to look into homeschooling, or am afraid that they'll say something so thoughtless that i will have to turn their velour tracksuit into a juicy couture body bag.

please help me to tolerate velour tracksuits. apparently they are here to stay.

please no bullies. or parents enabling their bully children and emailing me. seriously. no, thanks.

please let everyone who interacts with my boys see, even if only for a moment, how wonderful they are. and give them the compassion to treat them that way.

please let my boys feel the strength and assurance that they are loved. beyond measure. all day. every day. forever. by me.

happy 2nd grade, isaac and jacob!!!

a tooth fairy fan letter

dear tooth fairy,

how are you? how is your family? did you have a good weekend? we're fine. no, no. isaac hasn't lost another tooth since saturday. and, before that, thursday.

i hope we haven't exhausted you. but fear we might have. when i think about you lugging that last transformer... your little wings weighted down by what must have been exponentially heavier than your fairy-daintiness... my heart cries out a little. can you hear it with your tiny pointed ears?!?!?

then, i remember. of course! your tooth-shaped chariot! sure, you ripped off the idea from king triton, but making it tooth-shaped was all your idea. and you are an innovator, to be sure. also, i think that perhaps, like ants, you can lift things hundreds of times your size. am i onto something, here?

ok. enough about the logistics. as a long-time fan, i want to continue to pledge my devotion and adoration. you are a glittery wonder. each time you attempt to pry that little tooth in the ziploc baggie out of a snoring isaac's hand, and then have to give up and come back 30 minutes later. or, hover breathlessly over jacob's pillow and reach for what feels like forever to retrieve a pearly incisor. and then, finally, when you "transform" those little gnashers into tooth shaped notes, directing their recipients to a secret hiding place for a treat, my heart thrills. and i remember why i love you.

so, please forgive us for requiring you to work overtime this past week. (would it kill anyone to institute a "leave some cookies for the tooth fairy" custom?) we just can't seem to get enough of you, or rattle our remaining baby teeth out of our heads fast enough to keep you showing up night after night. we'll try to reign in our enthusiasm...

sincerely,

steph blackard

p.s. you used to know me as steffie. and i still remember the glittery footprints you left from my pillow to my bedroom window. (so awesome!!!) i think the policies must have changed on that one. new management?

p.p.s. as a head's up, isaac is working on another one and declared it "pretty wiggly".

one of my favorite, recent tooth fairy moments (6-18-10): the tooth note reclining on a ten dollar chaise lounge with an umbrella for jacob. in spite of bucking the leaving an actual treat tradition, jacob seemed pretty thrilled with his surprise.

"twin a"

so, a while ago, i posted something about my little "twin b". it was only a matter of time before his identical accomplice, isaac, was similarly written up.

1) isaac was once nicknamed mr. furious after the character of the same name in this movie whose super-power was to become really, really angry. i think we called him that for a month or two when he was a baby, but gave up on it when we realized that it might be mean. accurate, but mean.

2) he might have a flair for the dramatic that sometimes results in family members saying that they "wonder where he gets that from" with their eyebrows raised at me. well, i raise my eyebrows right back. and i'm really good at it because i trained my eyebrows in front of a mirror over a period of months as a young person. so, there.

3) isaac loves jokes. and never gets tired of them. never. ever.

"what does a hot dog say to another hot dog?"

"hi, frank."

4) at the age of 4, isaac nicknamed everyone he was in close contact with, a transformer name. i was "starscream". oh, and people will stare at you strangely in public, if you readily respond to your child when they address you as "starscream". just let them take their mental picture of awesomeness, and move on.

5) isaac makes me laugh regularly. my favorite quotes from this week have been:

"it's a two-bedded toy box trophy room!"- referring to the bedroom that he shares with jacob. 6/20

"it makes my teeth like chips."- on why he doesn't want the windows down while riding in the car. 6/21

"i'm dealing with a lot of tissues."- said in a gruff voice, while upset over having to get ready for bed. 6/24

6) he can't resist a microphone. it could be some kind of addiction. we need to rent out a karaoke bar. should we teach him "i will survive"?

7) for his audition for the wizard of oz, isaac sang/shouted "take me out to the ballgame". i think he really wowed the crowd with his enthusiasm. like, wow.

8) has a based-on-real-life-yet-kinda-imaginary girlfriend named "cindy white-ard". when asked to describe her, he has said that she has brown hair, is pretty, and likes cinderella toys. we think she's based on an actual little girl named sydney, but we can't be sure. we also think that isaac made up her last name with the idea that a color + "ard" = a plausible last name. try that formula for your next alias.

9) loves reading and being read to. has written a few books, one under the pen name, "stef blackard", with the scholastic symbol after the title. he'll probably be published before i ever am.

10) he is thoughtful and loving. he loves to remember people in his nighttime prayers, and has lately begun to incorporate some spanish phrasing into those same prayers. as in, "por favor bless oma." we have these very cute books to thank for the spanish. and i feel very thankful for my own little crumb cake.

here's hoping

i've got my fingers crossed for a couple of things right now.

don't underestimate the power of crossed fingers. i'm pretty sure it kept me from being called on 85% of the time, freshman and sophomore years of high school.**

**disclaimer** crossed fingers will not prevent horribly embarrassing moments: like tangling a wad of gum around the front brackets of your brand-new braces minutes before your crush-object speaks to you. tripping over a phone cord, causing your shoe to enter a room several moments before you do. turning your head to sneeze and spraying an entire car window with, um, spit. your dad failing to recognize your steady boyfriend, making you look like a tramp. calling an assemblyWOMAN, first a senator, and then, a MAN, to HER face.

the things that currently require my most earnest finger-crossing are:

an IEP for jacob tomorrow. this will be the last meeting of this school year, and will likely involve the school telling us to look for an alternate placement for jacob. as in, not in a mainstream classroom. will you join my crossed fingers in hoping that i will keep my composure? i'll need several sets of fingers on this one.

isaac has had a week of bad days at school. tears have flowed freely. milkshakes have been denied. and homework + leftover classwork have sucked up our free time and reserves of patience. if we can just make it through tomorrow, i think we can skate through the final week which will be taken up with art day, puzzle day, game day and teddy bear picnic day. (this last sentence begs the question, is there really a reason to go next week?)

our lil' walk needs some sponsorship (calling all businesses!!) and publicity (sac bee, get on the bandwagon, already!). a few more walk teams and volunteers wouldn't hurt, either.

my childhood rock collection is missing. tell me i didn't throw it out in a frothy-mouthed organizational frenzy! also, missing, all my concert t-shirts. they may not mean anything to you, but really, how can i ever hope to replace a marigold-colored shirt from anything box? or a giant hunk of quartz with red velvet glued to its scraggly underside? priceless, i assure you.

these are probably the most pressing issues. if i've forgotten something, please don't remind me. i only have so many fingers.

(baby) lucas strikes back

lucas, in a moment of zen, amidst his animal collection. he seems harmless, right?


to be perfectly clear, lucas cannot actually still be referred to as "baby". however, jacob and isaac will not accept the inevitability of lucas being a peer in little-boyhood. the strength of their denial, may have been the root of isaac's, um, downfall.

a couple of weeks ago, lucas inherited a new game for the communal leapster handheld game device that we have. he enjoyed an hour or so of uninterrupted gaming while the twins were at school. such peace is not meant to last.

i think brothers might have a general spirit of "what's mine is yours, what's yours is mine" with a real emphasis on the "what's yours is mine" part. as soon as isaac and jacob spotted the new game cartridge, entitlement reared its ugly head. in the challenging hours between tutoring and bedtime, i endeavored to mandate a cycle of turn-taking. during a lucas-turn, isaac hovered unendurably until lucas fled down the hall with the leapster. isaac followed. i heard a brief struggle, and then, isaac coming down the hallway, leapster in hand.

i was about to intervene. to force big brother to relinquish the stolen leapster. but lucas took matters into his own dimpled hands.

the next thing i heard, was a larger scuffle and a startled scream from isaac. a startled scream followed by a dramatic, horror- movie scream. lucas emerged from the hall, unscathed, and carrying the leapster, already engrossed in the lit screen.

isaac lay full-length in the hallway on his stomach (where he'd evidently gone down like a sack of potatoes) and writhed while screaming things like,

"i've been bitten by a baby!!!!"

"ow! my back!"

"why?!?! why?!?!"

"i...didn't...know...he...could...bite...like...that!!!!"

these exclamations (and writhing) continued for 5-10 minutes.

i might have come to isaac's aid, but it felt rude to tend him while laughing. i tried my best to smother my giggles on the other side of the dining room. it took several minutes to regain complete composure.

meanwhile, lucas continued to be riveted by diego's (very animated!) animal rescue. and jacob, was neutral about the whole affair.

i did eventually help isaac. i'm not completely heartless, after all. i cleaned the bite. it had broken the skin a little. and gave isaac his choice of band-aid. i let him know that while it was wrong for lucas to bite, it was also wrong for him to snatch toys away...

honestly, i could see both sides of this particular battle. i have been the older sibling, and felt the temptation to wield my brute older-sibling force like the ultimate weapon that it is. and, i have watched as my sweet, little sister sunk her pearly whites into my forearm, with her eyes wild like an animal. who can blame the little siblings for utilizing some of the only tools in their arsenal? particularly a full set(!) of tools that can fell a big brother like a giant sequoia. all i know for sure, is that isaac learned a (painful) lesson. and lucas might have walked a little taller.

aftermath

for the rest of this particular evening, every time lucas came near isaac, isaac would shout, "shoo! shoo!"

the next morning, i told isaac to tell ragain what had happened to his back. isaac said,

"well, dad, my back really hurts."

ragain: "oh, yeah? what happened?"

isaac: "the baby bit me."

ragain: "what?"

isaac: (pointing at lucas) "THAT BABY BIT ME!!!!"


additionally, isaac recently snagged the leapster from lucas, again. lucas didn't mind because he wasn't really actively playing... but as isaac turned his back to walk away with it, he turned back suddenly and said,

"don't bite me."

if you've got a little brother or sister that sometimes got the best of you. time to send them a note or give them a call and let them know you admire their spunk. and, that they still kind of scare the crap out of you. (those wild eyes are no joke!!!)

"Dear Dentest..."

it is far too late in the evening (for me) to be blogging anything of sense. but i am fueled by my 3rd chocolate cookie, the dregs of this latest dr. pepper and the promise of a buckwheat pillow soon to be draped around my neck and shoulders. there's a product endorsement hidden in there. or several.


i am also nudged along by the promise to my mom to post the following letter from isaac. chez blackard, we are fans of the "i'm sorry letter". we became fans after a very unfortunate incident involving my glass cake stand. i gave the offending party a timeout after said cake stand met its disastrous (and explosive) end. but even after the required 5 minutes, i found myself still a bit angst-ridden and not quite ready to forgive. you've been there, right? it was then that the "i'm sorry letter" was born. it didn't revive the cake stand, but it took the sting out of the loss. and included a drawing of the cake stand in happier times, hoisting a giant birthday cake, candles blazing.


in this spirit, the "i'm sorry letter" has begun to evolve. at least, from isaac's perspective. it's now something of a guilt-inducing technique when he feels like you might owe him an apology. what you might say to him if only you had the discernment to know you had been SO WRONG. the most recent recipient of this gift, is the dentist. isaac had to have a dental procedure last week that required sedation. the procedure went smoothly and aside from the very slurry and deep-voiced proclamations of love that isaac made to me in recovery, all seemed well. as he began to feel more like himself, though, he noticed his two badges of honor. the bandaid covering the iv site and the bandaid on the back of the arm from the "forget-about-it" shot. oma (my mom) carefully explained to him that the dentist had given him a shot in his muscle to help him relax before his dental work. that seemed to make some kind of sense to him and temporarily halted any further theory development.


later in the evening, isaac told me that he wanted to write an "i'm sorry letter" to the dentist. never to discourage a correspondence, i handed over a stack of paper and isaac set to work with his current favorite marker, lime green. i think i like what he came up with, and have been reminded a couple of times that we "need to mail it".


here it is:





translated, it says: Dear Dentist, You're sorry if you pinched me in the muscle and I don't like it. You maked my tongue quite lame dude. Love Isaac B.

the march into spring

onion ring glasses are always a "yes"
unfortunately for isaac, he inherited my winking skills.  i.e. winking with your whole face, and not in a cute or coy way.  sorry, pal.

it is officially spring.

this may not mean much to you.  in most ways, it doesn't mean much to me, except in the availability of good asparagus, the abundance of chewy candy and all those daffodils in the supermarket.  come on, those daffodils are adorable.  

so, i'm getting a bit off track.  along with volatile weather (and amazing daffodils!  last mention, i promise!), spring also brings its own kind of vibe.  what can we call it?  audacity?  pluck?  i don't know.  i only know it shows up sometime in march and leaves whenever it feels like it.  so audacious.  

this year, it seems particularly bold.  and while none of my boys are spring-born, they have caught on to the lingo and speak it fluently, brashly and kind of frequently.  i can't quite curb it, though.  really, because, i'm kind of with them on it.  i feel the spring fever.  i was thrilled for school to be let out.  i bid the aides farewell with wild-eyed spring fanatacism.  or frazzled bewilderment.  they look kind of the same.  trust me.

in any case, over the weekend, isaac was caught doing an assortment of destructive things.  mostly chewing things.  as in, non-edible things.  like the remote control.  now, i can understand a preoccupation with wanting to chew stuff.  because, as i've already mentioned, i love chewy candy.  (haribo rainbow frogs.  eat them.  love them.  call me.  we'll talk about them.)  and, honestly, i've eyed a certain giant, pink plastic dolphin that keeps circulating around here, and thought in a moment of stress i might gnaw on that dorsal fin.   but, the remote?  i don't see it.  not chewy.  that he wanted to chew on the remote, and all the other stuff he kept sneaking off to bite, was less surprising than his reply when we told him to take it out of his mouth.  

he was incredulous.  he made the uhn-uhn face.  and said, "but it's spring break!"  

then, we were incredulous.  how had we fast-forwarded through boyhood and shown up at his 

hotel room during a filming of mtv spring break (wait.  do they still even do that show?)  we faked sternness.  probably badly.  but it got me thinking.  this week has the potential to be all that i could dream of... if i just follow that philosopy.  "but, it's spring break."

doritos for dinner.  endless dr. pepper.  shameless movie-watching.  haribo frogs by the bucketload.  don't tell me it's wrong.  because i'll just wink at you, with my WHOLE FACE, and you know what i'll say...